The HappyRootz Pet
Lil Rona, one of the first of his kind, was created in the 1960's. While Lil Rona is a coronavirus, it is not able to cause symptoms when humans are in contact with it. While it can still drop a viral load in your throat, his oral entry is immediately denied by most modern immune systems. By 1970, this little virus was nothing more than a "1-in-a-million sniffle" for those who were obese (extra fat).
Lil Rona is the pet of the HappyRootz and they utilize him often. If the HappyRootz wants to isolate a target, they will send in Lil Rona and then call the victim's employer. If Lil Rona gets within 6 feet of a person, they become infected with a false positive Covid-19 diagnosis. The employer will require a Covid-19 test and the result will be isolation.
Underneath all those spiked proteins, lies a very depressed entity. Lil Rona knows that since the hyper-sensitive PCR tests have become a de-facto passport, he knows that in the wrong hands he could be used as a terrorist weapon. But, Lil Rona knows the HappyRootz are a group righteous enough to wield his powers without malice. He has extreme faith in all the laws of the US, believes that American law is infallible and prays to its flag every day.
Lil Rona despises the modern coronaviruses. He says, he "doesn't even give people the antibodies anymore" and implied that "they made them too strong." But when pressed to explain, Lil Rona will change topics.
Lil Rona will be available only by email.